A voice on the ceiling

The ebb and flow of belief, part two

This is the second installment of my story of spiritual exploration, finding belief and the releasing of belief. It’s a long story, so I’m sharing it in a series of writings. It’s also a story that feels intimate and tender to me, so I’m gently placing it behind a paywall.

I once attended a service at a Unitarian Universalist church. On paper, it seemed like the Unitarians might be a good fit for me, so I went to check it out. Visitors were invited to introduce ourselves and share why we’d chosen to come to church that day. A woman standing near me said, in a slightly shaking voice, “I’ve always been a seeker.”

Attending that service, while a positive experience, did not lead me to the Unitarian Church, but I’ve thought about that statement quite a bit. It resonated with me because I too was a seeker.

As far back as I can remember, I have wanted to know...I have sought to pull back the veil between this world and the next, questioned authority and notions of reality. I am also a person who can not stand for anyone else to tell me what to do or tell me what is true. So,I have sought experiences, hidden theologies, mystical experiences, the meaning of life, the nature of existence, magic, truth, love...all the God stuff, but as a seeker, I have been equal parts magical thinker and skeptic.