Cosmic Heart is part memoir, part spiritual philosophy, part cultural critique. I’m writing about my personal experiences and how they relate to the big shifts we’re all experiencing right now. Paid subscribers, get it delivered to your inbox as it’s created.
An Introduction: Explorations in Reality, Stepping Into the Cosmic Heart
I used to call myself a spiritual explorer, and I think what I meant by that was, I like to consider and play with all of the different things that might be true. I am open to navigating a variety of ideas about life trying them on for size. I am, at the same time, wildly imaginative and deeply skeptical. I am floating somewhere in the cosmos and rooted to the earth at the same time.
Part One - Red Light, Green Light
We all come from somewhere. The neuropathways forged from early experience shape and guide us. What we perceive as reality can be unwound like a ball of twine, leading us back to our earliest moments on earth, the influence of our families, our homes, and the churches we did or did not visit on Sunday morning in our too-tight shoes and combed hair.
Part Two - In the Country and the Sky
Rural living, however, provides and intimacy with nature that I’m grateful to have experienced in my early life - an understanding of what the air feels like before a storm, how to discern harmless insects from the ones that sting, the taste of a clover petal on the back of your tongue.
There exists, I believe, an innate human desire to do the impossible - defy gravity, become supernatural - jump timelines - to use a popular vernacular (and one I happen to enjoy.) I believe this desire exists because somewhere deep in our bones we all know there is more to this life than we have been led to believe. Human beings have the capacity for much more than we are currently exhibiting or inhabiting. The world is not flat or linear. It is expansive, mysterious, and vast.
Part Four - Seeking Spirituality
That is one of the ditches I’ve fallen into again and again as a spiritual seeker. But while it has been a barrier, it has also been a safeguard, because there is a shadow side to spiritual exploration, and a real danger in believing in the non-material, especially through anyone else’s lens.
Part Five - Everything is Energy
And that was my proof that this was real. Some people could sense and manipulate energy. More than ever, I wanted to be one of those people. I didn’t want it because I desired to be special in some way. I wanted it because it seemed to me like a something so loving that had been locked away from humanity. I wanted to unlock and open the door. I wanted to explore.
Part Six - Love Letters From Spirit Guides
How did I know I wasn’t just making it up? I didn’t. In fact, I’m certain that most of that first notebook was filled with things I “made up” - because that’s how this works. The channels for spiritual communication and creative imagination are the same channels.