licorice allsorts & a fairy loft

A travel diary from Oxford, England

Thursday, July 3

There is a part of me that thinks I shouldn’t post at all about this trip outside of the U.S. at a time of horrors within it. There is another part of me that knows you know that my being here does not mean I’m unaware or uncaring about what is happening there. I do wonder about how to navigate this moment; perhaps you couldn’t care less what the jackdaws are saying outside my window, given the circumstances. But I am here, and the jackdaws are calling outside my window, and surely that means something.

We spent the first two days of this trip in London, Holland Park, and it felt good to be alive amid a humming, vibrant diversity of people. We arrived in the middle of a heat wave, however, and I don’t know how to explain how hot a heat wave is in England, especially when it is happening on top of sleeplessness.

Travel, in general, is uncomfortable to me. It strips me down to my essence, and I can’t outrun myself or the little gremlins that hide in the crevices of my heart or the comforts I normally build around myself. Our flight was delayed by four or five hours, so what would have been a dinner and movie became a red eye.

Speaking of eyes, since we moved to our apartment in Oxford, I’ve been struggling to keep mine open. My body is attempting to adjust to the deep exhaustion of the past nine years, time zone changes, hot sleeping, and the fact that none of the clothes I brought work for me at all. (It seems my mirror at home is entirely deceptive.)

Friday, July 4

There are things I love to eat when I’m in England because they aren’t readily available to me in the States. One is honeycomb chocolate, and the other is licorice allsorts. I’ve already had them both. I’ll have them again—especially the licorice. There is something deeply satisfying about going to the newsstand and buying a magazine and a bag of allsorts.

For some reason, when I’m here, all bets are off. Sugar, fat, flour, calories - none of it matters. I don’t give it a second thought. I just eat whatever I want whenever I want, and honestly, it’s fun.

This afternoon, Eli and I went to Headington so they could take a trapeze class. The aerial gymnastics studio was located inside a church hall. I noticed a plaque saying the building was dedicated by Princess Margaret in 1967. There were photos on the opposite wall from the event itself, Princess Margaret on the front steps receiving flowers from children.

Sunday, July 6

I accompanied my mother to church this morning at St. Mary Magdalene. The music was beautiful, and I enjoyed the incense, but I am out of step with the energy and language of the church, almost as if I am observing it from a nearby island. I can remember with fondness when I was moved by it, but those parts of me feel shut down.

This afternoon, Eli and I walked out in the Port Meadow to pet the horses. We’ve also been leaving bread crusts on our patio for the birds, and have been visited by a magpie. I would love to make friends with a magpie while I’m here.

Monday, July 7

The building where we stay is next door to a cemetery, necessitated by the Cholera epidemic. I walked through the headstones this morning and noticed the caretaker had arranged a few fairy doors at the entrance. (I love this.)

I encountered a woman who appeared to be communicating with a tree, her hands flat against the bark. (I love this, too.)

The weather is forgiving today. It is breezy and quite warm in the sun but cool in the shade.

This is my fifth or sixth trip to the UK. The first time I was here was 1985, and the most recent was 2018. This is the first time that I’m here during the absolute height of the summer travel season, and the crowds are intense. We ducked off the more heavily traveled streets today into Christ Church Meadow and walked along the water before diving back in to visit The Covered Market.

Tuesday, July 8

Today in London on the Tube, I looked down through the cars at all of us silently jostling through the underground and remembered what it feels like to be in a city. My body remembered it. It’s a feeling tied to deep parts of me, and it always sparks my imagination, just like London itself.

I haven’t visited all of the world’s cities, not even close, but my heart tells me London is the world’s best city.

Wednesday, July 9

Another heat wave approaches. The air is gathering weight.

We began the day at the sidewalk tables at Barefoot Bakery with cappuccino and banana bread. We talked about childhood, about siblings, life, and one’s Saturn return.

We were too tired to travel out of Oxford today, but we did some window shopping at the outdoor market, charity shops, and vintage stores.

We’ve heard of a couple of Emma Watson sightings in our neighborhood over the past few days, and we’re hoping we see her, though we agree we’re not going to bother her in any way. We’d just like to see her.

Thursday, July 10

The moon is full in Capricorn.

I began the day sitting on my bed next to my fan, drinking cold coffee with oat milk, thinking about how, when I get home, I’m going to color my hair.

I walked to Boots this morning and bought new lipstick and a body spray from the bargain bin. I tried on a sun hat at Primark, but it was too floppy.

Otherwise, we all pretty much collapsed today due to the heat.

This is what Arik Xander had to say about today’s full moon:

The July Full Moon in Capricorn is not about manifesting faster. It’s about breaking the spell you’ve been under.

The one that says:

“This is fine.”

“It’s too late.”

“This is just who I am.”

The full moon doesn’t give you what you want. It shows you what is true. It reveals the half-truths, fake connections, the illusions you’ve been living in.

I’m thinking about spells I might be under, spells I might have put myself under decades ago. I’m thinking about how to re-seat myself in a body that has become a stranger to me. I’m thinking about how to free my writing, re-wild it. I’m allowing the moon to work on me.

Just now, we’re sitting on the patio and were excited to see a dragon flying overhead. It turned out to be an ultralight plane, which looks like something you might see in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

I’m Lori-Lyn. I’m a writer, intuitive, and artist exploring creativity, spirituality, and pop culture. I share personal stories, reflections, and spiritual insights on Creative Living Diaries, where I am also currently publishing my spiritual memoir Cosmic Heart.